Show Us, Don’t Tell Us:
Put Your Instructions Where I Can See Them!

Our critique groups tell us: show, don’t tell. See the irony? Don’t look too far. I’ll give you another example. Books on writing advise us: "Show, don't tell".

I could go on, but I want to point out the biggest irony of all. If you look at the submission guidelines of practically any publication, you will find a treatise of all tell and no show. That’s right. The people who ask us to “show, don’t tell” are the worst tellers of all, sometimes with confusing and even contradictory directions.

Submission guidelines need not look like the assembly instructions for a reverse turbo-encabulator or the troubleshooting guide for the disgronification circuitry in an astral transmitter. Editors and publishers, why don’t you just SHOW us what the submission you want looks like? Check your work, and see if your example is consistent with the list of instructions. What’s so hard about it?

With this, I’ll close by showing what a submission for Flash Me magazine, an on-line publication, should look like.

Subject: Submission: “Synergetic Paradigm Dichotomy”

Dear Editors,

Please consider Synergetic Paradigm Dichotomy for your next issue. The story is pasted in plain text format into the body of this email. Please let me know immediately if you have any trouble reading the text.

This story is best regarded as hard science fiction, and perhaps it could be viewed as “math opera”.

Best regards,

Steve J (writing as Jess Patrick)

About me:

When Jess Patrick isn’t tearing the wings off flies or frying ants with a magnifying glass, he might be feeding his spiders. Otherwise, he’s probably writing some kind of fiction. His work has been featured in Exo-Skeleton magazine, Cockroach Review, and may others. Jess Patrick's most recent story is “Antsmoke”, published in the January Issue of Chitin VaporTrails.

Synergetic Paradigm Dichotomy

If Horton heard a who, then how was he to know what he was looking at? The preamble to his textbook for Dark Energy 333 was a mystery:

Synergetic Paradigm Dichotomy
Automatic Math Castrophe
All Set About with Fever Trees

Ex Square. Why Square? Aitch two ess oh four. All this and a whole lot more, but not more than 1,000 words, because that’s in the guidelines, and then finally all the way to this.

The End